Do you have any good Blonde Jokes? I'm want something that we'll make me laugh.
I'll take regular jokes too,though.....
Blonde Jokes?Regular Jokes?-Myspace pictures
Sometimes being a blonde isn't easy, especially if you're cooking...
MONDAY
It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY
Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.
WEDNESDAY
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY
Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
SATURDAY
Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.
SUNDAY
Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
Dear friends, it is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following:
The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children, and one in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
Blonde Jokes?Regular Jokes?
-(Myspace images myspace.com)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
A lawyer and a blonde gal happen to be sitting next to each other on a long
flight from L.A. to New York . The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she
would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a
nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few
winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun.
He explains how the game works . . " I ask you a question, and if you don't
know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa."
Again the blonde politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The
lawyer figures he's pretty smart and since his opponent is a blonde he will
easily win the match, so he makes another offer. "Okay, how about this?
If you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know the
answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end
to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer
asks the first question . . "What's the distance from the earth to the moon
?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a
five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn.
She asks the lawyer . . "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down
with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his
laptop computer and searches all his references.
He taps into the Air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and even
the Library! of Congress. Frustrated he sends E-mails to all his co-workers
and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour of searching for
the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The
blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The
lawyer, who can't believe he's been outsmarted by a blonde, is going nuts
trying to figure it out. He's more than a little frustrated! He wakes the
blonde again and asks . . . "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs
and comes down with four?"
The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to
sleep.
idk
brunette: why are your ears plastered?
blonde: my phone rings , while i'm ironing my clothes , i supposed i pick up the phone but i picked the iron instead.
brunette: and why the other ear was also plastered?
blonde: you idiot . of course the phone rings again.
Sorry all I have is Regular. A guy walks in to a bar.
Then he says, "Ouch".lol
Two peanuts where walking down the street and one got assalted.lol.
A duck walks in to a drug store to buy some lip-gloss. The clerk says how would you like to pay for this. The duck says put it on my bill. lol
why did the blonde girl have a sore belly button? because her boyfriend is blond too.
What do you call 10 blondes in a row?
" a wind tunnel"
What do you call 2 blondes in a freezer?
" frosted flakes "
Remember, you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch!
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
Oooh! Doughnut seeds!
On vacation, a man and his wife check into a hotel. The
husband wants to have a snack at the restaurant, but his
wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to
their room to rest.
She lies down on the bed... just then, a train passes by
very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's
thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down
once more. But just a few minutes later a train again
shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the
manager who says he'll be right up.
The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story
is true.
"Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to
the floor!" So he lies down next to the wife.
Just then the husband walks in. He takes one look at the
manager lying in bed with his wife and yells, "Hey! What
are you doing in here!?"
The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting
for a train?"
