Funny Jokes?!?!??!?

Ok so I love listening to jokes...who doesn't? Well I have not found very funny ones lately. I was wondering what your favorite jokes are? So send me your favorite jokes. Also I would love a variety. Yo Momma jokes and blond jokes are the best. Also please try to keep them semi clean. So please tell me your favorites!!!!!! (I tell you wich I like the best =] )

Funny Jokes?!?!??!?-Myspace pictures

No Speaka de English?

A bus stops and 2 Irish men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation that seems to be English.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first. Den Oi come. Den two asses come together. Oi come once a more! Two asses, they come together again. Oi come again and pee twice. Then Oi come one lasta time."

The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country. We don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'abouta sex? Oi 'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi."

$5.00 says you're gonna read this again!

Funny Jokes?!?!??!?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

So three blonds walk around on an island and they hit a genie lamp. A genie pops out and says, "SURPRISE!" and scares them all. So blond one wishes to be a dolphin so she can swim away, and she does. Blond 2 wishes to be a bird, and she flies away. Blond 3 wishes she was a red head and walks across the bridge.
Yo Mamma so fat..... she has more chins then the Japanese phone book.

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There was a man raking leaves near a cemetery when he saw a coffin, followed by another coffin, followed by a dog, followed by a gentleman, who was followed by about a hundred men in single file.

Curious, the man walked up to the gentleman and asked, "Who is in the first coffin?" The gentleman replied solemnly, "My wife." "I am very sorry to hear that," the man said, "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." the gentleman said. "Well, who's in the second coffin?" the man asked out of curiosity. "My mother. My dog bite her and she died as well." the gentleman said.

The man thought about this for a second then asked the gentleman, "May I borrow your dog." in which the man replied, "Get in line."

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That's all! Hope you enjoy!! ^_^
Two coworkers and their boss were getting ready to take a lunch break. Just as they were leaving a client comes in and tells them he's a warlock and he was so pleased with their work on his account he would grant them anything they wanted. The first coworker says, I want to be on a caribbean island, sipping pina coladas and waited on hand and foot. Poof, she was gone. The second coworker says, I want to have more money than I could ever spend in a lifetime and on my own yatch sailing across the world. Poof, she was gone. The warlock then asks the boss what she wants.She says, I want both of them right back here after lunch.
Iam The Boss!

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that Read:

"I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

Your wife called, she wants her sign back!
5exy secretary

A banker, confused with maths, asked his secretary:

If I give you $3 million less 5%, how much would you take-off?

Sec: Everything, sir !!!

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Are you free?

One night a boy asked his girlfriend:

"Darling are you free tonight"

His girlfriend shouted and replied:

"Have I ever charged you before?"