Dirty Jokes Needed URGENTLY?

Well me Stepmutha always manages to get hold of loadsa dirty jokes and then sends me them in a text, but i wanna send her loads just so she doesnt think she's "the joke master" and yes that is a quote from her....

Plz help (and not too long they gotta fit in a text)

Dirty Jokes Needed URGENTLY?-Myspace pictures

Poor Little Girl

One day there was a poor little girl. Her mother didn閳ユ獩 have any money to buy her underwear. One day the little girl was wearing a little dress and playing up in a tree. A priest walked by and looked up, concerned he called the little girl down and said: "Little girl take this $100 and go buy you some new underwear and a pretty dress."

The little girl ran home and told her mother what happened.

Seizing the opportunity, the next day the mother was up in the tree without any underwear.

The priest walked by and called her down and said:

"Here閳ユ獨 $2 go and buy yourself some razors!"

Dirty Jokes Needed URGENTLY?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Wats the difference between a coffin and a condom.....

u come in 1 and go in the other
what did one tampon say to the other?

r u blushing?
I wish i could help you, but the last time i tried to post a dirty joke on here the nuns or goody 2 shoes who run yahoo deleted it cause they're so pathetic.
Q: Why do women have more hemorrhoids than men?

A: Because men was created as the perfect a-s-s-h-o-l-e.
Vanessa felts at the airport was pulled to the side by customs. Apparently she had 5o punds of crack in her knickers
Whats the difference between a f#nny and a freezer?

The freezer doesnt fart when you take the meat out.
Man nudges wife in the middle of night and says " Any chance of fellatio?" She replies "do it in a cup I'll drink it in the morning".

Hope this isn't too rude hon. x
A bloke walks up to a bird in a night club and says.

閳ユ窏i! My names Bond閳?

She says. 閳ユ窉on閳ユ獩 tell me, its James?閳?br>

He said. 閳ユ罚o its Uni, I閳ユ獡 here to fill yer crack.閳ユ絸||One day a cow pooped.
1st one. Man says to wife you have the **** the size of a 3 burner BBQ. Later in bed he says can we have a shag? his wife replies no point in lighting the BBQ for half a fuckn' sausage.

2nd What's the best description of a drawing pin? A: a smartie with an erection.

3rd and final. One windy day a farmer goes into a field to collect some straw, only manages a handful and puts it in the middle of a barn. He has a cat at one end and a cockerel at the other. The two meet in the middle and fight over this patch of straw. The cockerel thought he'd won by pushing the cat into a puddle. He seemed satisfied by this. Do you know what the moral of the story was? Where ever you find a satisfied cock you'll always get a wet pussy.
Men are like nappies, hard to change and full of shiit.

Research conducted at the uni of london shows 9 out of 10 slappers use their thumb when reading text messages.

Theres no point in changing your finger now tart.

man said to his wife "i had to show my chest hairs to get my pension today" wife says "you should have shown them your cocck, you would have got disability then" !
What do you call a leper in a sleeping bag? A burrito!

Why don't women wear skirts when skydiving? so they don't whistle!

What do you call a bad yeast infection? Fish taco with cheese!
two sperm are swimming side by side.

one turns to the other and asks "how much further to go" and the other said "bloody miles - were only just passed the tonsils!!"
are you mad this is not the place