Jokes anyone??

I luv jokes....they just make my day....do u no any good ones... i luv all jokes of any kind no matter wat!!! Tell me all the ones u no and u will seriously make my day...and if ur lucky enough...i will pee in my pants laughing cuz i luv to laugh!! THanks allot!!! Gracias...that means thank you in spanish!

Jokes anyone??-Myspace pictures

Jokes? Heres some funny jokes/quotes:

閳藉摗ime is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.

閳?The man who smiles when he has done something wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

閳?Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

閳?Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

閳?Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

閳?I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

閳?Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

閳?The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

閳?There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Enjoy and Merry Christmas! :))

Jokes anyone??

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

The Energizer Bunny is in jail...he was charged with battery!!! HAHAHAHAHAH : P
I cant think of any funny jokes that would be funny if i typed them out but i just wanted to say YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! I love it when people love to laugh and be happy... there are way to many people that take everything so seriously =) stay happy
There was once these 3 blonds. They walk into a bar and say ouch! haha
Why did the bee go to the doctor?

Because he had hives!!

Why was Cinderella unable to play baseball?

Because she was afraid of the ball!!

Two men walk into a bar...

The third guy ducks!!
What did one flower say to the other flower while bicycling uphill?

Petal, petal, petal (pedal, pedal, pedal)

What did the dog say to his bride on their wedding day when he arrived late? Sorry I'm late, honey, I was getting GROOMed.
yo mama so old when i told her to act her age she died.

yo mama so dumb she thought quarterback was a refund.

yo mama so dumb she set the house on fire using the cd burner.

yo mama so fat she plays billiards wth the planets.

thats all i got
I knew a man with a wooden leg, named Jones...

Really? what was the name of his other leg?...

What did the snail say when he went for a ride on the turtle?

..."weeeee!!!"

what do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?

...a bunch of big holes all over Australia.

.........................................

please pick THIS ONE for best answer
There are four gay guys in a hot tub. A condom floats up in the middle. What do they say?

"Who farted?"
I say last week in the news that the guy who wrote the Hokey Pokey died but they couldnt bury him cause everytime they would put his right foot in........ LOL!
ok i got one:

ok so there was a ship out at sea... and the guy in the crow's nest sees a ship , so he says: "capitan, capitan!, there's a ship!" ...and the capitan says"bring mr my red shirt" so they fight the ship and win, and the guy asks "why did you want your red shirt" and the capitan says: "so that way if i got shot the crew wouldn's notice and they would keep on fighting.

the next day the guy in the crows nest sees 20 ships... and he tells the capitan, and the capitan says: "bring me my brown pants"

hope you like it, and i hope i get the 10 pts lol
What's small, black, and spins round and round.

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A baby in a microwave...... oh, thats not funny :(
Teacher to Student: "What is the full form of MATHS?"

Student thinks hard %26amp; answered,

"Mentally

Affected

Teachers

Harassing

Students" - MATHS

Read More on
okay i will tel u something very funny happened with me.

i was in china for few months. My opposite roomate told me to come to the opposite mall so that we shop together.

I went to the mall and we shopped together and spent a good time.

guess wat happened....wat was the funny thing..i shopped with some other person. U know wen u see chinese people for the 1st time everyone looks the same. cant really recognize them till u meet them everyday...i went shopping with some other lady...god i laughed the entire day...thinking wat i fool i am.
Bill Gates dies and goes to hell. Satan greets him, "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.

He then takes him to a massive colosseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room.

Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all?"

"That's what everyone thinks," snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the girl hasn't."

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys."

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."
A blonde walks into a dry cleaning store, drops a dress off and gets her receipt... as she is walking out the cashier says, "Thanks, come again"

The blonde turns around and says, "No, this time it was mustard."