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Helping an overweight blonde

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.

At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

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There is a sign in the front of every marijuana rehab center , that says " Keep off the Grass".

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. The bartender sees it and asks the pirate " why is there a steering wheel in your pants?" the pirate replies

" Aargh i don't know but it's drivin' me nuts!"
Why can't we Polaks fly helicopters? When we get too cold we turn off the fan.
orcut
Q: Do you know what a blondes mating call sounds like?

A: Oh, I think I drank to much!

A guy pops his head in a barber shop door and says, "Bob Peters here?"

The barber say's, "No just a shave and a haircut."
A Blonde's Year in Review

January

Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February

Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....

Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March

Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said '2-4 years!'

April

Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May

Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of

water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June

Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July

Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,

the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August

Got locked out of my car in a rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September

The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it ?

October

Hate M %26amp; M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November

Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December

Couldn't call 911 . 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

茂驴陆茂驴陆

茂驴陆

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong'

To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'

(Are you ready This is a beauty...)

'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'