Jokes??Pls help?

I really need some good jokes...almost all the jokes in the world are lame pls!!

Jokes??Pls help?-Myspace pictures

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so

he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally

typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from

her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail,

expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the 1st message, she fainted. The widow's son

rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've reached

Date: November 30, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here;

we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and

have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW !

and here is a knock knock joke!

knock knock!

who's there?

i eat mop.

i eat mop who?

sounds like "i eat my poo"

Jokes??Pls help?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

what do you call a spanish fireman - hosea

why did the mexican man push his wife off a cliff - tequila

sorry others will take too long to type
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards him.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says, as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

He agrees.

They had a wonderful, wild time having hot, passionate sex, talking, having hot, passionate sex, talking some more, and having hot, passionate sex.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed! Everything had been sooo incredible!

"You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No, " she replies. ..... "You just happened to catch my eye.閳ユ絸||I got a lot! Thos are some of my recent questions that contain jokes. I have posted a couple more before those to! Enjoy!

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Husband %26amp; wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver %26amp; wife kidney. If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney...