Funny jokes ~~~?

ok i need sum funny jokes they can be rude or nasty or ur mama jokes or anything just sumthing thatz insulting or funny it can even be about sum1 anything just make it funny~~~? thx:)

Funny jokes ~~~?-Myspace pictures

A man hitched a ride on a ship because he wanted to see the world, unfortunately the ship ran into an awful storm and got torn apart. The man saw a sheep and grabbed onto it, hoping it would find shore. As luck would have it, the sheep swam all the way to an island. After a few months the man and sheep became pretty close. They had built shelter together, eaten together, exploered together. The man was getting kind of horny. He came up to the sheep and tried to have at it, but the sheep just kicked him in the balls and ran away. The next day the sheep came back. Once a week (his balls had to heal every time) for 6 months he tried to screw the sheep, and each time the sheep kicked him and ran away. One day, as the man was building a fire, a gorgeous woman walked gracefully toward the man. She said "My name is Oombaway, and I will do anything you wish." The man looked her up and down and said "will you hold the sheep?"

Funny jokes ~~~?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?

When she has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil Report It


Why was Phillip's girlfreind dissapointed?

Because she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a television. Report It


what do you call it when a blonde dies her hair black?

-artificial intelligence

*boom boom ch*
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.

"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies

"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either."

"Do you have a partner then?"

"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black"

"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."

"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."

"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims,

"Well thank **** for that !"

"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.

"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that the little bastard was going to bark!"
A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid.

It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's

perfect."

"Really?!" answered the neighbor.

"What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."