Jokes needed.?

I need sum good jokes here is one that i have heard of . Spell pig backwards and say funny colors.So plz give me very good jokes that crack me up!!!

Jokes needed.?-Myspace pictures

try these....

1

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"

"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..

2

Man driving down road.

Woman driving up same road

They pass each other

Woman yells out her window, "PIG!"

Man yells out his window, "*********!"

Man rounds next curve

Crashes into a huge pig in middle of road.

Thought For The Day : If only men would listen.

3

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's

house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her

daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the

daughter-in-law

answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it

makes me

happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home

from

work any minute."

The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the

way

home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed,

showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally

her

husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress" she replied.

"Needs ironing." he said.

HEHE%26gt;%26gt;HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING

Jokes needed.?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

gip, yellow

are you cracked?
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i dont think this is wat u where looking for but i though it was funny......

heres more!!!

Print out some signs that read, "Push" and "Pull" and tape them to doors at your local stores. Make sure to place them on the wrong side. Then sit back and watch as people push when they are instructed to pull and vise versa

Be carefull with this one, as to not ruin the keyboard. All you have to do is simply and very carefully remove a few keys and switch them around. If your victim is one of those "look up and down" typers. He or she will be very confused while trying to get work done.

i like that 1....

some nail polish and coat a bar of soap with it. Let it dry. Then put it in the bathroom shower. When your victim tries to use it, he or she will go nuts trying to get it to lather up.
Q: How many blond es does it take to play tag?

A: One.

-What is "racecar", "radar", and "Madam I'm Adam" spelled backwards?

-Yo' mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are walking down the street, when an old man comes up to them and says "In that castle over there, there is a mirror. If you tell the mirror the truth, you will receive what you have always wanted to wish for, but if you lie, you will be trapped in the mirror forever. So, the redhead walks into the castle and says to the mirror, "I think I am the prettiest of the brunette and the blonde." So she gets a pot of silver. The brunette walks into the castle and says to the mirror, "I think I am the smartest of the redhead and the blonde." So she gets a new car. The blonde walks into the castle and says to the mirror, "I think--" and she got trapped in the mirror forever.

Q: Where do fish keep their money?

A: In the riverbank.

(Johnathan walks into the doctor's office)

JOHNATHAN: Doctor, everytime I look into the mirror, I throw up.

DOCTOR: Well, your eyesight is perfect.

Two blondes walk into a bar. One of them said "Ouch!"

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One of them was asSALTed.

Top ## Blonde Inventions:

1) Waterproof Towel

2) Solar-Powered Flashlight

3) Submarine Screen Door

4) A Book On How To Read

5) Inflatable Dart Board

6) Dictionary Index

7) Helicopter Ejector Seat

8) Designer Camouflage

9) Powdered Water

10) Waterproof Tea Bag

11) Wireless Dog Leash

12) Silent Car Alarm

13) Glass Hammer

14) Water Powered Electrical Outlet

15) Wooden Soap

16) The Macarena

17) You see that car over there? It only works if it's plugged in.

-A scorpion walks into a bar.

-What happens if you say Hi to someone named Jack on an airplane? (Hijack)
there are 70 ways to keep a woman happy.

1. take her shopping

the rest is 69
I found a great website with funny funny funny jokes and pictures.

http://www.i-lol.com/