Blonde jokes share!?

Share your blonde jokes here!

~Why was there a bullet hole in the mirror? becasue a blonde tried to commit suicide

~Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?

A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

~Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

~Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.

~Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?

A: She got cold and turned off the fan.

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http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index...

http://www.ahajokes.com/

http://www.the-jokes.com/

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/

http://www.jokesgallery.com/

http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm

http://www.jokes2000.com/

http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jok...

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/

http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/

http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.ht...

http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes...

http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes...

http://www.blonde-jokes.info/

http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages. I hope, it helps u.

Blonde jokes share!?

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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............
There is a book printed about a hundred years ago called Women and the Wits, which is the most politically incorrect book of comments/quotes/trueisms about women ever. Horrible but hilarious. If you can find it, you'll be set.
The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait?

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction

work on

scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and

cabbage!

If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going

to

jump off this building."

The Mexican! opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again!

If I

get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a

bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef

and

cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his

death

as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd

known

how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would

have

given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him

tacos or

enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.

The blonde's wife says, "Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch."
sorry, i dot know any but thanx 4 the jokes anyway!
~Q: What do you call a smart blonde?

~A: A Golden Retriever.
A blonde calls 911, and says her house is on fire.

the dispatcher asks her where her house is

the blonde says she doesn't know

the dispatcher, getting frustrated with her says, Well how are we supposed to get there?

the blonde says Well DUH! Big red truck!
those are stupid!!! listen to these:

Q-What did the blonde say to the brunette?

A- GET OFF YOUR A** AND GET A LIFE, 'QWERTY'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
a blonde and her husband were laying in bed at 2:30 in the morning and the phone rings. The blonde says "I don't know , That's 200 miles away. Her husband says "who was on the phone. The blonde says" I dunno, some lady wanting to know if the coast was clear".
~Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

~A: Pregnant.

ba-dump-bump *ching*
One day a blonde was at home trying to finish a puzzle of a tiger! Her husband came home and said " honey what are you doing?" She said I cant figure out why these pieces wont fit for this puzzle and so her husband replied " hunny out down the frosted flakes "
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.
THE PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON, AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON, AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON.' "

Sorry about the caps and punctuation errors. I copy and pasted it from an e-mail.
there's a brunette a red and a blonde head in a salon a woman comes up to the brunette and says "how did you get that brown hair"she says its natural she ask the red how did you get that red hair she says it is natural she ask the blode how did you get that blonde hair with green streaks she wipes her nose rubs her hands though her hair and says its natural
ok, once this blonde died, she went up to heaven (according to the joke) and knocked the door, and St. Peter came out and saw her, didn't want to deal with her so asked her if she just wanted to reencarnate, she said yes, and she also said she didn't want to be human again, if it was possible to reencarnate in a dolphin. St. Peter, looking to get rid of her, just complied with her wish, noded and closed the door. Just while turning away from the door, someone knocks again, it was the dolphin (the blonde). Didn't I just send you back to earth? what happened? why are you here again?

the blonde responded:

"I drowned"
How do you make Anti-freeze?

Take away her blanket.
THERE WAS A BLONDE WHO WALKED INTO THE BEAUTY SHOP ONE DAY WITH A HEADSET ON-THE BEAUTION ASKED HER IF SHE COULD PLEASE TAKE THE HEAD SET OFF SO SHE COULD WORK ON HER HAIR-THE BLONDE REPLIED NO I WILL DIE SO THE BEAUTITION TRIED TO WORK AROUND HER HEADSET SO THE BEAUTITION ASKED AGAIN MAM CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE OFF THE HEADSET-THE BLONDE SAID SURE TAKE A SHOT RIGHT THEN THE BLONDE FELL OUT OF HER CHAIR ANND WAS DEAD ON THE FLOOR-THE LADY PUT THE HEADSET TO HER EAR AND SHE LISTENED IT SAID BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT-SO NEVER TAKE E HEADSET OFFA BLONDE IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE CHARGED FOR MURDER

LOL

CIERRA
A blonde, tired of being casted as dumb dyed her hair red and went out for a country drive. She met a shepherd and asked him:

'If I can guess the number of sheep you have, can I keep one?'

The shepherd agreed.

'24' said the blonde. She guessed! and the shepherd felt obliged to fulfill his part of the deal. As the woman was ready to climb on the car with the little animal the shepherd asked her:

'If I can guess your natural hair color, can I get back my dog?'
why are you crying?

-Becoz i ate your onions like a wilderbeast.

why are you sleepy?

-Becoz Mr.Letterman wont let me go to bed.

why do you eat peanuts?

-Becoz it makes my day nuts.

why did you drink that spoiled milk?

-Becoz I love the cow that produced this

why did you fell in love with her?

-Becoz she gave her life catching me from a 20-story building

why did you kiss that girl?

-Becoz I thought she was my dead mom

why do you answer all whys?

-Becoz.Becoz.Becoz of Becoz..

JOKEs from My Inner Cerebellum and Medulla Oblangata
Why did the dumb blonde dye her hair?

A: To stop being the object of stupid ridicule (but everyone knew she was a dumb blonde anyway).
what does a blonde and a tornado have in common?

they both moan like hell when they com and take the house when they leave.
How can you tell a blond has been at the computer?

There's White-out on the screen

Why did the blond get fired from the M%26amp;M factory?

She kept throwing out the Ws

(I know- that one is so old the last time you heard it you fell off the family dinasaur)
there's this blonde out in the middle of a field sitting a row boat, just rowing away. another blonde is driving by the field and gets out of her truck and yells to the blonde in the boat "it idiots like you who make blondes look dumb!" the blonde in the boat said "why don't you say that to my face?" the blonde on the road said," i would if i could swim!"
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why did the blonde have square ****?

A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?

Submitted by: Anthony Sandoval

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?

A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievement?

A: An IN-body experience!

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?

A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?

A: Shine a torch in her ears.
a brunette a red head head and a blond were going to a death sentence

the judge calls the brunette to the front and says do u have any final requests

she says no

so the judge says ready aim

then she says earthquake and they all stutter and she escapes

the the judge calls the red head to the front

and he asks the same thing and she answers no

so he says ready aim

then she says tornado

and they all shutter and she gets away

so now the blonde figures out wat they all did

so the judge calls the blond to the front

he asks the same thing and she says no

so he says ready aim

then the blonde says fire

so i think u know wat happens after that
THIS IS SO FUNNY!!

One day, a blonde went into an appliance and said to the owner ''Can I have that t.v.?" The guy said no.

The next day she went back and the same thing happened.

The third day, she asked the guy the same the same question and she got the same answer. She asked him ''Why won't u sell me the t.v.?''

The owner replied saying, '' Because it's not a t.v., it's a microwave.
1. A blonde and a brunette who were friends decided life wasnt fair and agreed to end it all together by jumping off a bridge. They counted and jumped at exactly the same time but the brunette hit the water first. Why? The blonde had to stop and ask for directions....

2. A detective investigating the mysterious drowning of a local blonde in her pool had it drained and promptly found a scratch-and-sniff sticker stuck to the bottom.....

3. A blonde enters an appliance store to buy a TV. She asks the salesperson, "How much is that TV up there on the shelf?" He replies that he doesnt sell to blondes. Miffed, she goes out, dyes her hair brown, and returns the next day to the store. Again, she asks about the TV, and the reply is the same. Perturbed, and thinking maybe she hadnt been disguised well enough, she goes back the next day with jet black hair, heavy makeup, completely different clothes, the works. Again she asks, and again the reply is the same, "Sorry, don't sell to blondes". "How can you tell that I'm a blonde?", she asks, amazed. He replies, "That 'TV' you've been asking about is a microwave"
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
I LIKE THE LAST QUESTION
You are such a stupid person. Looking for fellow stupid people, I see. What a life...