Wittiest jokes ever?

what are the best jokes you ever heard,

please no 'crummy mummy' jokes or anything, i need witty good jokes, i need to fall on the floor laughing

Wittiest jokes ever?-Myspace pictures

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;

likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

Wittiest jokes ever?

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Thanks. His was funny. I got a big laugh out of that one. It made me laughed until I cried with that one. Report It


Pauls lawyer should sue Heather Mills fro throwing water over her. With all those witnesses Mills doesn't have a leg to stand on :)
what do an elephant and a giraffe have in common

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they 're both gray except for the giraffe
what's a crummy mummy joke?
a guy goes to a costume party with a woman on his back. he walks up to the door and the host asks "what are you supposed to be?" "I'm a turtle" he says. "Well where's your costume, and who's that woman on your back?"

"that's michelle."
You asked for it:-

Susan goes to see the doctor about getting a facelift. 鈥淥K,鈥?says the doctor. 鈥淚 can do the face lift but you麓ll have to come back again in 6 months for a follow-up. 鈥漁h no,鈥?says Susan, 鈥淚 want it done all at once without having to come back!鈥?

The doctor thinks for a moment and says, 鈥淲e do have a new procedure that doesn't require your coming back鈥? 鈥淲hat is it,鈥?she asks. 鈥淲ell,鈥?says the doctor, 鈥淲e insert a small screw into the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appear, you give it a small turn and the wrinkles disappear.鈥?鈥淲onderful,鈥?says Susan. 鈥淟et麓s do that鈥?

Six months later, Susan comes charging into the doctor麓s office. 鈥滺ow麓s the procedure working? 鈥?says the doctor. 鈥淭errible,鈥?yells Susan. 鈥淚t麓s the biggest mistake I ever made! Just look at these bags under my eyes!鈥?

鈥淪usan鈥?the doctor answers 鈥淭hose aren麓t bags! They麓re your breasts! and if you don麓t stop turning that screw, you麓re going to have a beard!鈥?br>

Gimme the money honey or at least the points
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