I need jokes for school tomorrow?

hey, im a pretty cool guy. im fairly intelligent, got a few talents. i was wondering. can you give me some good jokes? my friends think im lame. its about that. you see, becaused im not funny, but im nice, cool and a great leader. just give me as many good jokes as you can and don't give me life advice. i will try em tomorrow and if they produce good effect i will choose them for best answer. sound good?

I need jokes for school tomorrow?-Myspace pictures

two vampires went to a restaraunt. one asks for a glass of blood, the other asks for a cup of hot water. the first vampire asked the second vampire why he did this, and he replied, "im making tea" and pulled out a used tampon.

I need jokes for school tomorrow?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Sound good?

Sounds lame. Your friends are right.
i was never really considered funny either. so here goes some of the jokes i've heard:

3 vamypires walk into a bar. the first one says "i'll have a cup of blood." the second one says "i'll have a cup of blood." the third one says, "i'll have a cup of plasma." the bartender yells to the guy in back " i need two bloods and a blood light."

3 kings are sitting at a bar. the first one says "fill up my glass please." the second one says "fill up my glass also"

what's the name of the third king??? a. king phillip the 3rd (fillup the third glass get it?).

okay so maybe bar jokes are stupid and overrated.this one is a two part dialogue:

"look at that bunch of cows over there"

"not bunch, herd"

"heard what?"

"herd of cows"

"well sure i've heard of cows."

"no i mean a cow herd."

"what do i care if a cow heard i didn't say anything i shouldn't have."

if you really want a story to tell, try looking up the "little pink lady" story. it's really long and hard to memorize, but i guarantee it will get a reaction. in fact, you can make it even more interesting by giving the men colors instead of names, like the tall red man, the tall blue man, and the tall yellow man.

maybe quotes are more you're thing. try these

"one thing about the speed of light, it gets here too early in the morning"

"two in every one peole in this country are schizophrenic."

"in the beginning the world was without form, and void. and god said let there be light. and god separated the light from the dark. and did two loads of laundry" -kevin krisciunas

here's to good jokes!!!