Jokes, Do you know any really funny ones?

Ok so I want to know some funny jokes that I can tell some 20 year old guy's that rock climb. So just put in any funny joke you know, thankies...

Jokes, Do you know any really funny ones?-Myspace pictures

.) How do you know that Jesus was a rock climber?

A.) Well it could be the long hair, beard, hangs out with the same three single guys, always wears the same clothes, is a carpenter in the off season and has scabs on the back of his hands.

and

A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed, so he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they've had their fun, he realises its 3AM and says, "Oh, ****! It's so late, my wife's going to kill me! Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands. Then he goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is really pissed off. "Where the hell have you been?!?!"

"Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."

"Oh yeah?" She grabs his hands, which are covered with white powder, and screams, "You liar! You went climbing again!!!

Jokes, Do you know any really funny ones?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

did you hear about the kidknapping........he woke up.
what do you call a female dog that walks upright, your mom!!!
Did you know that Diahrea is hereditary?

It runs in your Jeans
Q: So your running through a field in a canoe...how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house?

A: Purple because ice cream doesn't have any bones!

ROTFLMAO!! (no, I'm not drunk)
Whats the difference between a golfer and climber?

Golfer goes whack, **** and the climber goes ****, whack!

You know your in trouble when you hear...hey, which one is my brake hand?

How can you tell Santa is a climbing bum?

Hes got a beard, always wears the same clothes, and only works one day a year.
They did not celebrate christmas at the white house last year, seems they couldnt find a virgin or wise man anywhere.

They did however have no trouble finding a jackass.
What do you call a black man that flies a plane?

Answer: A pilot you racist bastard!
Two blondes walk into a building...

You would thing one of them would have seen it.
none
The pickle joke... and I know you know what I know that you know that I know that you know what I mean...

Haha I got another one for ya...

There are three men, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They are all in jail. One night they escape and run into an abandoned wearhouse to hide. There are three burlap sacks on the floor so they each hide in one. The cops arrive two seconds later. "There isn't anything in here but some burlap sacks." the officer says. "Kick them to be sure that they didn't hide in them." another says. So the cop kicks the one with the redhead in it and he says ''Meowww.'' "It's just a stupid cat." the officer says. He kicks the other one. "Woof." says the brunette. "Oh it's just a stupid dog." the cop says. He kicks the next bag and the blonde yells out, "POTATOES!"

And:

There are two redneck hunters out hunting. One trips and falls to the ground. The other goes crasy and calls "911". "Hello, what is the emergancy?'' "I think my friend is dead, he tripped and fell..." the man says in a panicy voice. "Calm down,'' the operator said. "First let's make sure your friend is dead.'' There is a pause on the other line then BANG. The man says, "Ok now what?''
sprinting joke was funny
Q: Why is Santa always so stressed and frustrated ?

A: Because he only cums once a year !!!!!!!!

--------------------

Q: How do you get four lesbians onto a stool ?

A: Turn it up side down !

-------------------

Q: why did the blonde stare at an orange juice carton for over tree hours ?

A: it had 'concentrate' printed on it

-------------------------

A blonde walks into hairdresser for a haircut.

the hairdresser says to her to take off her headphones but she says 'no, just cut around it'

many weeks later she goes back to the same hairdresser and asks for another haircut. Again the stylist says to remove her headphones. she 'no no, just do your best'

again she returns to the same stylist but this time while getting her cut she falls asleep.

the hairdresser thinks to herself ' i'll take off her headphones and give her a really nice style cut, she will be so happy then'

so the stylist removes the headphones. shortly after the blonde falls of the chair dead.

the stylist freaks out thinking what happen? she picks up the headphones and hears a recording.......

' breath in , breath out, breath in, breath out ......... '