Short/clean jokes?

i need to find a CLEAN and SHORT (like not one of those story-type ones) joke for an audition (don't ask why haha).

it can't be offensive to any religious or ethnic groups... and no blonde jokes or dead baby jokes.

and please tell me what you think of this one:

why didn't the apple and the orange get married?

A: because they CAN'T ALOPE!

Short/clean jokes?-Myspace pictures

Why don't seagull fly over the bay? because then they'd be BAY-gulls (bagels)

What do you call a police officer that stays in bed all day? An undercover cop

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese (not your cheese)

Short/clean jokes?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

I don't get it

Oh wait yes I do lol it's funny!
I like it.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.
it all depends on who your audience is.
Knock Knock

Whos There

Cow Say

Cow Say Who

No Cow Say MOO

HAHAHAHAHA
find another one not funny sorry hun...
hoe do you know harry potter books are fake??

the red head had two friends

badombum tish

hehe gud luck wit your audition

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Why was Cinderella kicked off the soccer team?

She ran away from the ball.

What do you serve but not eat?

A tennis ball.
Sorry, I don't get it :)
Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 (ate) 9!
lol the classic! why was six afraid of seven.. cuz seven ate nine!... one guy walked into a bar,, the other guy ducked lol get it?.. or......... what do u call a vampire when hes 4 miles away form a blood bank? a cab..lol did u hear the goldfish went bankrupt. now hes a bronze fish! lol (last 2 from spongebob ^_^)
Really Bad....

A farmer was driving down the road and was a priest walling along side of the road. He stopped to give him a ride. A little further down the road he was a lawyer. He started to run the lawyer down when he realized he could not do such a thing with a priest in the truck. So just at the last minute is swayed to avoid hitting the lawyer. But he hurt a clang and looked in the rear view mirror to see no lawyer. He told the priest "sorry father I just missed that lawyer." The priest replied "Don't worry my son, I got him with my door"
I get it but it isn't really that funny, sorry :(

this isn't really that good either, not to be hypocritical, but:

What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

Outlaws are wanted

A banana peel and a banana are robbing a store.

"Don't worry," says the peel. "I've got you covered!"

not really that funny but there you go :P
What do you call a twitchy cow? Beef Jerky!

and here's one i just cant resist to not tell:

Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only Comes once a year! It's funny when you see the double meaning
why did your mom buy chocolate furnager

because they didnt have strawberry or vannila

i no it wasnt funny*i think its good that i tried* *cries*
short joke?

Ok , did you hear about the short woman who went to work?

She got a job as a short order cook making small fries and short cake and short bread.