Tell me your jokes?

I need jokes, knock knock jokes, dumb blonde jokes, and story jokes!! plz. any of them that you know woulf really help me!! thanx!!! the more you submit, the bigger chance u could win 10 points and be best answer!!

Tell me your jokes?-Myspace pictures

***I HAVE A YO MAMA JOKE...YOU MAMA IS SO STUPID, IT TOOK HER TWO HOURS TO WATCH 60 MINUTES.***

***YO MAMA IS SO STUPID, SHE WENT TO THE MOVIES AND THEY SAID UNDER SEVENTEEN NOT ADMITTED, SO SHE LEFT AND CAME BACK WITH SIXTEEN OF HER FRIENDS.***

***YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE STOOD IN FROND OF THE REDRIGERATOR AND STARED AT A CARTON OF ORANGE JUICE JUST BECAUSE IT SAID CONINTRATE.***

***I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE.***

Tell me your jokes?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

well i was bowling and it was a BAD day early so i was like ok, i love blowing i can do this so i grabbed this ball and it was a little tight on my hands but it was the only the hand small enough so i was like oh we. then i didnt relize but my fingers were stuck and i threw the ball and i flew with it and it hurt so bad i almost got stuck in the pin area but...I GOT A STRIKE!!!!!! it hurt alittle but it was sooo embarrassing!!!!!!

3 days ago
i have a yomama joke.

your mom is so stupid she threw away the m%26amp;m's that said w%26amp;w!
what did the fish say when it swam into a wall?....DAM!...

and that's about the only joke i can list here on such a family site....
1. Story Joke

My girlfriend and I had been going out together for over a year and planned to get married. My girlfriend was an absolute dream and there was only one thing that bothered me, her younger sister.

She was 20 years old, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when she was near me and I got many a pleasant view. She never did it around anyone else.

She called me over one day shortly before the wedding to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She said that she had feelings for me that she couldn't overcome and wanted to make love to me just once before I married her sister and committed my life to her.

I was in total shock and could not say a word: she said "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, if you want me, come up and get me". I was absolutely stunned, I was frozen in shock as I watched her go upstairs.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went for the front door. As I stepped out of the house and towards my car my future father-in-law approached me with tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said "we are very happy that you have passed our little test and we couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter, welcome to the family".

The moral of the story is:

Always keep your condoms in the car.

2. Dumb Blonde Joke

Ok there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.

And they get to heaven and God says there are 100 steps on the way to heaven.

On each step someone is going to tell you a joke and if you start laughting you have to go back to the bottom of the stairs again.

The redhead got to the 30th step and started laughing and had to go back to the beginning.

The brunette got to the 60th step and started laughing and had to go back.

And the blonde got all the way to the top to the 99th stair and started laughing.

God thought this was odd and asked "You got so far why did you start laughing"?

And the blonde said "I'm sorry i just got the first one"!
Nightmare Drive

Two young guys were at a party in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of thunder and rain. The two ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.

All of a sudden an old man's face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on the window! The passenger screamed out, "Eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's an old guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?)

The old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!" So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want?"

The old man softly replied, "You have any tobacco?"

The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!" "Well, offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies. So the passenger fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette, rolling up the window in terror and yells, "Step on it!!!".

Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they start laughing again. The passenger says, "What did you think of that?" The driver says, "I don't know. How could that be? I am going pretty fast?"

All of a sudden, AGAIN there is a knock on the window and the old man is looking in the window. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! There he is again!", the passenger yells. "Well, see what he wants now!" yells back the driver. The passenger rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says "Yes?"

"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks.

The passenger throws a lighter out the window at him, rolls up the window and again yells, "STEP ON IT!" They are now going about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard.

Suddenly, again there is more knocking! "HE'S BACK!" He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in stark fear.

The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"