Any gud adults jokes?

me n my friends have a joke party once in two months ,,,the one who tells da most and best joke gets da prize ,,,plz i need new gud jokes so i can get da next prize ,,probabaly an ipod.

Any gud adults jokes?-Myspace pictures

one night a 35 year old woman who lived with her parents went upstairs to get an early night. The mother walked by her bedroom and heard a strange buzzing noise, She opened the door and saw her daughter having sex with a vibrator. Well said the girl, I am 35 and i am never going to get married so this is what i do. The next night her Father goes by the bedroom and the same thing happened, He saw his daughter having sex with the vibrator. Well i am 35 and i am never going to get married and so this is what i do...

A week later the Mother goes shopping and when she returns she hears the buzzing coming from the lounge and her husband shouting, hooray get it in...She opened the door and asked what are you doing, The vibrator is on the table and the husband says, I am watching the football with my son in law.

Any gud adults jokes?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

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How does a woman always end a sentence?
"What's wrong with Mickey Mouse?" Donald Duck asks Pluto,

"I'm not sure, but I think I heard him say that he's depressed because Mini Mouse has such Big Teeth" Pluto replies,

"NO, NO,It's not that you idiot Dog" Mickey shouts

"I SAID SHE'S F#CKING GOOFY"

God appeared to a man and told him to give up Fags, Drink and Sex if he wants to go to Heaven.

A week later God re-appears and asks him how he's doing?

"The Fags and Drink were easy to give up, But when my wife bent over to get some meat out of the freezerI just couldn't Resist,

I had to give her one there and then!" The man replied.

God said "They don't like that sort of thing in Heaven!"

The man replied " They don't like it in Asda either!"

Three nuns go to heaven,?

St Peter asks them if they have ever touched a mans Penis,

First nun admits that once she did touch one with the palm of her hand. St peter asks her to bathe her hand in the holy font in front of them, then continue into heaven,

As she does this the Third Nun rushes past the Second Nun and starts to drink the water from the font, St peter asks her why she is doing this, she Replied "I want to wash my mouth out before Sister Maria sticks her #rse in it!

An African man was looking up his family tree?

When a monkey sh!t on his head

I used to sh@g dead people,

Until some rotten cunI%26gt; split on me!
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?

A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?

A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?

A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!

Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...

A. "Is it in?"

Q. What's the definition of trust?

A. Two cannibals giving each other a *******.

ok thats all im posting the website is in the source section
asdf
little jhonny was taking a shower with his mom and asked whats that on ur chest she said ask daddy in the morning. so the next morning jhonny asked his dad and he said those were ballons and when mommy dies we can blow on them and she will go to heaven. the next day the dad came home a few hours early and jhonny ran out of the house crying he said 'daddy, daddy mommy's dying uncle bob is blowing her baloons and shes screaming!!!" (hope this helps):})
A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed. "This is the pig I have sex with when you're sleeping" he says.

"That's not a pig" she says "that's a sheep"

"I was talking to the sheep" he replies!
just keep checking this catagory, most of the jokes are brilliant
Which of the following does not fit?

1. Your wife

2. Eggs

3. Your meat

4. A B.J.

Obviously thus; You can beat your wife, you can beat your eggs, you can beat your meat but no one can beat a B.J.