Know any hilarious jokes?

There is a joke competition going on at my office and the winner wins cash! I am in dire need of cash, SO I am in dire need of a hilarious, prize-worthy joke. All jokes are welcome, but I can only use PG-13 rated jokes, as this is for WORK, so nothing too dirty or controversial. Thanks!

Know any hilarious jokes?-Myspace pictures

This is one of my favorites. I hope it's not too offensive for your contest - it's pretty funny. Good luck.

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A policeman sees an obviously drunk man weaving around in a parking lot, holding a car key out in front of him. The officer stops and asks, "What seems to be the problem?"

"Someone ssshtole my car!" exclaims the drunk.

"Hmmm, well, where's the last place you saw your car?" asks the officer

"Right on the end of thisssh here key!" says the drunk, holding up the key.

"I see," says the officer, rolling his eyes. Then he notices that the drunk man's pants are unzipped, showing too much.

"Sir," says the officer sternly, "Do you realize you're exposing yourself?!?"

The drunk looks down at himself and says with a gasp, "Son of a gun!!! They stole my girlfriend, too!!"

** jojo

Know any hilarious jokes?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Financial failure, old age, end-of-life.

Enjoy.
i don't have any watch all of the pg-13 movies on paperview how many days or weeks do you have?
A bear walks into a bar and says:

"I'd like a............................(this is a long pause)..................................... beer."

Sure, says the bartender. "But why the big pause?"

"ALWAYS HAD 'EM!"

sorry, it's a little cheesy but i think it's funny.
A local man was found dead in his home in Brooklyn, NY, this

weekend.

Detectives at the scene, found the man face down in his bath tub.

The tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes and the

deceased had a banana protruding from his butt.

Police suspect a cereal killer.
It's this joke ok? It's still PG-13 right? It's long though but funny at the end.

A husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground .

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The Policeman, thinks I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence..."
A computer programmer was walking along the side of a lake when he came across a funny looking frog. The guy picked up the frog, put it into his pocket, and went on his way.

A couple of minutes of walking later, the man heard a cry from inside his pocket, "help, help"! He took out the frog, looked at it, smiled, and put it back into his pocket.

Again, "help, help me, a wicked witch has turned me into a frog, kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess". Again the man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back again.

Moments later, "Help me, help me, a wicked witch has turned me into a frog, kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess. I'll do_anything_if_ you_ help_ me, anything"! The man simply took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back again!

The little green frog again screamed out "Help, I'm the most beautiful princess, if you kiss me and help me I'll do anything, marry you, sleep with you, give you money, ANYTHING." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled and said "I'm a computer programmer; I work too much so a girlfriend or wife is of no use to me. But, a small talking green frog is cool."
Billy Graham at the peak of his popularity walked up to the Interstate to see how many would stop to be saved. After twenty minutes of waiting he turned to his staff announcing,

"The only people here are the fast and soon dead to be."