Need blonde jokes to get back at my teacher?

my teacher everyday tells us some blonde/burnette/red head jokes. he has put up the option that if we an tell jokes that are better than his he will give us extra credit. also if we can beat him with at least five absolutly AWESOME jokes he'll pass us with an A for the first half of the semester. i am not good with jokes so i could use some good ones. %26lt;3 %26gt;.%26lt;

Need blonde jokes to get back at my teacher?-Myspace pictures

.Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?

Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

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The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

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A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"

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A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.

First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Second Blonde:

Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!

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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

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A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

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A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Need blonde jokes to get back at my teacher?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Glad you liked them and that you got one over on your teacher! Report It


There are dozens of Blond jokes on this site. Just type in blonde / blond joke and get a whole hour's worth.

Two blondes went hiking in the woods for a Christmas tree. After 4 hours of walking, being chased by wolves, freezing cold, one blonde says, "We're gonna cut the very next tree... even if it ISN'T decorated".
Umm... Can it be a dirty one???

If it can be then:

Why does the blond have a tampon behind her ear?

Because she lost her pencil...

%26gt;.%26lt;
American education at its best.

God forbid he gave you an A for doing a good job in school.
This is an OLD one...

Why did the blonde get fired from the M%26amp;M factory?

She threw away all the W's.
a blonde, brunette and a red head were stranded on an island. as they walked down the beach they stumbled upon a lamp. they rubbed the magic lamp and a genie poped out.

"I will grant you each one wish." he said

the red head said i wish i was a millionaire and had a hot loving husband.

POOF

she was gone enjoying her new life. the brunette wished to be famous and the richest, most beautiful person in the world!

POOF

she was gone enjoying her new life. he looks down at the blonde and sees that she is sad.

"whats wrong? you still have your one wish."

the blonde looks up at him and says "i'm lonely, i wish my friends were back here with me."

POOF
A blonde went to the doctor. The doctor told her she was pregnant and she said"Are you sure its mine?"

Two blondes are walking on both sides of the river. When the blond asks the other blonde" How do you get to the other side? And the other blonde replied"You ARE on the other side!"

Hope you enjoyed and theres a LOT more!
teach the straw goes in mouth not the tampon.
wow, i think im to late, i don't stand a chance agenst ice_maiden94... but here are some anyway:

one night there was a baby sitter baby sitting three children. it was about 7 o'clock and the parents wouldn't be home for another 3 hours. she herd the phone ring.when she answered it she herd a male voice say "i am da viper i vill be dere soon" then he hung up. she thought that was weird and then went and watched TV. she herd the phone ring and when she answered it she herd "i am da viper i vill be dere soon". she was getting creeped out now but she went back to the tv. a few minutes later she herd the phone ring and when she answered it she herd a male voice say "i am da viper i vill be dere soon". she was very scared now so she called the police. a few minutes later she herd a knock on the door. she answered it and saw a short man that said "i am da viper, i have come to vipe your vindows".

a police officer was driving down highway 12 when he saw a car that was going very very slow. he pulled it over and saw that there were two people in it. the driver-a blonde women- and the passenger-her date. the driver was perfectly calm but the passenger was all white and had his fingernails dug into the dashboard. the police officer asked the driver why she was going only 12mph in a 45mph highway. she said that she saw a sign that said 12 on it so she went 12mph. the police officer told her that this was highway twelve and that she should be going 45mph. they were about to drive away when the police officer asked why the driver's date looked so scared. she replied: "i don't know,he's been like this ever since we got of of highway 200". lol, good jokes ice_maiden, thumbs up from me
There once was a Blonde, Burnette and a Red Head. They were stranded on an island, and the red head found something in the ocean. So she picked it up and all 3 of them rubbed the sand away from it. Out popped a Gynei. The gynei was so happy to be free that he gave them each one wish. first was the red head.

red head: I wish to live in Hollywood with the stars.

and she poofed away. Next was the burnette.

Burnette: I wish I lived in the biggest mansion in the world!

And she poofed away. Next was the blonde. She was so sad. Whenever The gynei asked her what was wrong she replied

Blonde: I wish my friends were back!

and so it was...the red head and the burnette were back sitting beside the blonde.

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There once was a blonde, and she was driving in her car one day and she accidently cut off a truck driver. the truck driver was so mad that he signaled her to pull over. so she pulled over and got out of the car. He then got a peice of chalk fromhis car and drew a circle in the middle of the road. he ordered her to sit in the middel of the circle. so she did. he then got a sledge hammer, a knife, and a match. He started to bust all of her windows out. whenever he turned aroound she was back there smiling. then he desided to dent her car. she was back there laughing. and so he said "oh so you think thats funny eh? well ill give you something to laugh about". so then he slit her tires. she was still laughing. he then grabbed the match and lit her car on fire. by the time he was finished messing with her car, she was rolling around on the ground laughing. He then asked "WHATS SO FUNNY!!!!!" and the blonde replied, "EVERYTIME YOU WERE TURNED AROUND I STEPPED OUT OF THE CIRCLE!!"

I might put more on here later. so idk.
New Short Blonde Jokes

Q: What should you do if a blonde throws you a pin?

A: Run, 'cause the grenade is in her mouth.

Q: Why did the blonde bring a car door to the desert?

A: She thought it was a map!

Q: A blonde and a scrunchy fell off a cliff. Which landed first?

A: The scrunchy, the blonde had to ask for directions.

Q: What does a Blonde and a screen door have in common?

A: The more you open it the looser they get.

Q: What do you call two blondes in a cadilliac?

A: Duel air bags.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet?

A: The 1963 hide and go seek champion.

Q: What did the blond say when she saw a bowl of cheerios?

A: Neto! donnut seeds.

She is so blonde that she thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company!!!!!

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