Any good Jokes????

Ill take anything that will make me fall out of my seat laughing!

blond jokes, dirty jokes, little johnny jokes, yo momma jokes, anything! Best gets My vote w00t!

~Kim on Jazzys acc

Any good Jokes????-Myspace pictures

yo momma so ugly when she tried out for the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals,"

yo momma so stupid they asked her whats her education and she replied, "Hooked on Phonics"

yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in The Mist" in her shower.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?

A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?

A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

A: Toes go in first.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?

A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?

A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?

A: They can't remember the number.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?

A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: "What's a lightbulb?"

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaaddy!"

Q: How do you get rid of blondes?

A: Form a circle, give each blonde a gun, and tell them they are a firing squad.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

A: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

Any good Jokes????

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

I have one... You could ask someone you don't like or someone who is fat this. Say," hey, have you ever been on a plane?" And if they reply with yes then you could say holy crap alert the media a PIG FLEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what is a 68?

you do me and I will owe you one
what does michaljackson like about twentyseven yearolds?

there are twenty of them!

why did the blonde keep going to the postoffice?

her computer kept telling her that she had mail!

how does michael jackson pick his nose?

out of a catalogue!
Yo Momma's like a Big Mac. Full of fat and only worth $1!
ok well i have a pretty dirty joke for you but here it is

- There is this guy and he is a indian. The indian goes to the doctor for a check up. He takes his shirt off for the appointment. This guy has no nipples though. The doctor says woah you don't have any nipples! And the indian say i no neither do the other 2500 men in my tribe. And the doctor says ok so do the women have nipples? And the indian said that all the 2500 women in the group don't have nipples either. So the doctor asks what the tribes name is and the indian replies.... The nippless 5000
There were two old drunk men sitting on the porch....and the cat walked by. One of the one men turned to the other and said "Look at that one-eyed cat!". The other one said "That cat ain't a comin' he's a goin'!"......meoooooow....
Yes i do have a good joke just for you girl and i really hope you love it. Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?

A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q. What did the blonde閳ユ獨 left leg say to her right leg?

A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. How does a blonde part their hair?

A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?

A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?

A. Humpme Dumpme

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?

A. More leg-room!

Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?

A. They chip their teeth.

Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?

A. Fertilized

Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?

A. More headroom

Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?

A. Because everyone gets a turn.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A. Frosted Flakes

Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?

A. An airbag.

Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?

A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?

A. Bobbing for chips.

Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ***?

A. Brain tumor.

Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?

A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"

A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....

Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?

A. Because they both drip when they're ******!

Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?

A. "Way to go team!"

Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?

A. FULL

Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?

A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?

A. So she could lip read.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A. You get to park in the handicap zone.

Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A. Pregnant

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

A. Not everyone has been in a 747?

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?

A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?

A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do blondes and cow **** have in common?

A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?

A. She opens the car door.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?

A. Play ball!

Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?

A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?

A. Cause it said concentrate.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?

A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.

Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

A. The joystick is wet.

Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?

A. To keep their ankles warm.

Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?

A. An interpreter.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?

A. She sold her car for it...

Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?

A. Because they have blond boyfriends

Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?

A. Their both empty from the neck up

Q. What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?

A. Get'em on their back and their both ******.

Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?

A. A ******** with handlebars

Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?

A. A golden retriever.

Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?

A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.

Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?

A. It has a stamp on it.

Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?

A. A wine and cheese party!

Q. How do you drown a blonde?

A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?

A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.

Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?

A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!

Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?

A. There is white out on the screen.

Q. Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores?

A. Open 24 hours a day.

Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?

A. To feed the toilet duck!

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?

A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.

Q. Why do blondes always drink with straws?

A. Practice.

Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?

A. To cover the valve stem.

Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A. It takes too long to retrain them.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?

A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?

A. They spread for the bread.

Q. What's the difference between a group of blondes and a good magician?

A. The magician has a cunning array of stunts I hope you really enjoy laughing at my joke and have fun because i know you is going to love it and i hope it really cheers you up.
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty times."