Jokes (read more)?

i need some really funny "yo mamma" jokes, "youre so stupid" jokes, and other jokes to insult people

Jokes (read more)?-Myspace pictures

Your momma is so stupid...

...she thought Tu Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

...she thought menopause was a button on the stereo.

...she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

...she brought a bowl and spoon cause I said its chilly outside.

Your momma is so fat...

...She sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.

...she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose.

...before God said "let there be light" he told your momma to get her fat *ss out the way.

Your momma is so old...

...she farts dust.

...she owes Jesus 3 bucks

your momma so fat that when she goes to the beach she is the only one who gets tan

your mommas so fat, the scale...

-started spinning

-read "we don't weigh livestock"

Your mamas so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.

Your mamas has 15 fingers and 11 toes and still can't count to 26.

Your mamas so fat she uses two greyhound buses for roller skates.

Your mamas boobs are so saggy they have rugburns.

Your mamas ain't got no thumbs, no job, is broke, and says she's gonna hitch hike to work to save money

Yo mama so fat, her belt size was equator

Yo mama so fat she sits in two time zones

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the air and got stuck

Yo mama so fat, she causes a blackout when she sits

Yo mama so fat, she step on a scale it says to be continued....

Yo mama so fat, people jogged the marathon around her

Yo mama so fat, God couldn't light earth till she moved

Yo mama so fat, she went on a date with high heels and came back with sandals

Yo mama so fat, her beeper went off and people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat she buys to airline tickets

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Ragu

Yo mama so fat, she went bungee jumping and went straight to hell

Yo mama so fat, we're in her right now

Yo mama so fat, she lies on the beach and no one else gets any sun

Yo mama so fat, that when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat, when you get on top of her, your ears pop

Yo mama so fat, she put on lipstick with a paint roller

Yo mama so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made skittles

* Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.

* Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.

* Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.

* Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!

* Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.

* Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.

* Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.

* Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.

* Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, I can **** her in any position and its still doggy style.

* Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.

* Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.

* Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.

* Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."

* Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, how'd you get out so fast."

* Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.

* Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.

* Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.

* Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.

* Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.

* Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.

* Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

* Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous.

* Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.

* Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.

* Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.

* Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"

* Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even bare the thought of ******* herself.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!

* Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!

* Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a **** wagon.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!

* Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."

* Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the ****?!?!"

* Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.

* Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.

* Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair.

* Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.

* Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

* Yo mama's so ugly, that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

* Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ***.

* Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

* Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the ***** dog biscuits.

* Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.

* Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.

* Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.

* Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.

* Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

* Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

* Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!

* Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

* Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

* Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.

* Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.

* Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.

* Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.

* Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!

* Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ***, then her face, and said "Twins!"

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"

* Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.

* Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"

* Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.

* Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.

* Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.

* Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.

* Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like **** 'cause he'd rather kiss her ***.

* Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.

* Yo mama's so ugly, your real pops could only be a ******' dog.

Yo Mamma's feet so skanky that when your family wants jam pieces, she gets yo brother to run a loaf of bread between her toes.

Yo' Grannies neck so damn wrinkled, I use it as a cheese grater.

I got notin bad to say about Yo Momma - heck, her face says it all...

Your pet Cat so freakin nasty it bit ma dog and gave it rabies.

Yo Auntie so stinkin that a skunk smelled her butt and passed out.

Yo mama's so poor, TV dinner trays are her good china.

Damn it, just realised that last yo is as old as the crust in yo Sister's knickers...

You liked that mama joke didn't ya? Good?...well, nowhere near as good as Yo Mama was last night :)

But, hey, if I wanted a comeback, christ, I'd just wipe it off Yo Mamma's chin...

Yo Mama like a television - even a 2 year old can turn her on!

You brother so hairy Big foot is taking his picture..

Yo Mother in law so stinky she use Right Guard and Left Guard.

Your Grandpa's so hairy, Jane Goodall follows him around.

Yo Star wars geeky friend so damn hairy, she's a stunt double for Chewbacca and her baby daughter played the leader of the Ewoks (no makeup needed).

Yo English teacher so damn stupid, she failed a survey...

Yo Sista like a mailbox, open all day and all night...

Yo mama's so clumsy, she got tangled up in a Mobile phone.

Yo mama's like an elevator - blokes go up and down on her all day. Yo Mother in law so dmamnd Dislexus when I told her to go get some Head and Shoulders...she jump on top of me Shoulders and gave me head!!!

Your IM buddies so damn stanky, I can smell them over the interweb

Only job yo ever gonna get is as a blind bird-watcher.

Yo idiotic Doctor so damn greasy that he uses Bacon as a bandaid

Yo Dog so short it's best friend is an Ant.

Yo Auntie so flat chested she jealous of the wall.

Yo girlfriend so cheap I threw her a penny for sex and she gave me change...

The first line in the Bible was mistranslated - it actually reads - 'In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth and yo' fat ugly Mama'

Yo Grandpa's house so damned cold, the Roaches ice skate around the kitchen.

Yo Momma house so small that I put my Key in the doorlock and broke the freakin back window!

I heard yo mama got fired from her job at the sperm bank - the boss caught her drinking on the job...

Yo baby sista's nose so long, it make Steffi Graf jealous...

Yo Mam so damn ugly, look like the ho was hit by the whole freakin Ugly Tree!!!

Yo Mama so old - heck, the first line of the Koran was mistranslated - it should read 'All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds and Father of Yo' Mama'...

I heard that yo Granny was so disgustingly ugly that on a holiday to Egypt she looked up a Camel's *** and scared the hump off of it!

Yo Driving Instructor so damn old he got hieroglyphics on his Driver license.

Yo Cousin so old she drives a chariot to High school

I took yo Mama to the Doctor's - I tell him that she feeling poorly and that she only got 1 toe and 1 knee. Doc tells me she's contracted 'Tony'...

Yo Boss so damn ugly that when he leaned out the window the Police arrested him for attempted murder

That Grandpa of your's so stupid and poor that when I came over for Dinner he read me recipes...

Yo wee brother so damn hairy that he went for a short back and sides and lost 30 pounds...

Yo mama's chest hair so damn long, it growing all the way down to her willy.

Yo mama's so nice, she offered me the hair off her back.

Yo Mother in law so nasty, she got more clap than an auditorium.

I's apologise for talkin bout Yo Mama...I should know better...hell, I don't even know the Man...

No seriously, under all that hair yo Mama is really a Saint....a saint Bernard!

But really, yo Mamma is just like a golf course - everybody gets a hole in one!

Yo Nana still so fat she wears a Microwave as a beeper.

And yo Mother-in-law so huge she stole my pillow cases when she ran outta socks.

Yo mama should be locked away, cos every time she moons people they turn into werewolves

She nasty too ya know - yo daddy just got out of hospital after eating her out - he caught food poisining...

Yo'momma so ugly she actually is very good at her job: Being a scarecrow.

o momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say ,"Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote!

Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face!!

Yo momma so ugly that her face will make a freight train take a dirt road!

Yo momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life.

Yo momma so ugly, she walked into taco bell and they all ran for the border!

Yo momma so ugly people go ask her for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!

Yo mama aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!

Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.

It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat!

Yo mama hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.

Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.

Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Yo mama twice the man you are.

Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine.

Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.

Yo mama middle name is Rambo.

Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."

Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.

Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.

Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.

Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo.

Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.

I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle.

I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving."

Yo mama teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.

Yo mama so fat...

the doctor told her she was at risk of serious heart disease and she would most likely die prematurely.

Yo mama so stupid...

that after years of blisters and headaches working as a waitress to pay for a college education her parents couldn't provide her, she got rejected from the only college she could afford.

Yo mama so ugly...

she weeps wet, salty tears every time she glimpses herself in the mirror, thinking to herself, "No one will ever love me."

Yo mama so skinny...

her colleagues speculate in hushed tones about what they assume to be anorexia nervosa.

Yo mama so poor...

she can't afford a Christmas tree so she goes and finds a sad little twig in the yard and cuts out construction paper ornaments so that she can bring just a glimmer of light to her children's Christmas celebration.

Yo mama so tall...

the most promising romantic relationship of her life ended prematurely, due to insecurity on the part of a man somewhat shorter than her.

Yo mama so old...

she spends her nights awake, sweating with fear, wondering what the afterlife holds.

Yo mama has the whitest teeth I've ever come across.

Yo mama has one arm and swims in circles.

Yo mama has one leg and swims in circles.

Yo mama has one arm and when she fights, the announcer says "She throws a right, a right, and another right."

Yo mama has so many fat rolls that she has to screw her pants on.

Yo mama has 10 fingers - all on the same hand.

Yo mama has 3 eyes and they call her "Eye-eye-eye."

Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

Yo mama's has wooden **** and breast feeds beavers.

Yo mama has a `fro with landing lights.

Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.

Yo mama has a moustache and they call her Bob.

Yo mama has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.

Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree.

Yo mama has no legs, no arms, and no eyes but she's still the one for me.

Yo mama has no arms and bought a vest.

Yo mama has one tooth and they call her Drill-Bit.

Yo mama has one tooth and they call her Chopper One.

Yo mama has one ear and a burnt potato chip.

Yo mama has so much wax in her ears, I stuck a Q-Tip in and pulled out a Sugar Daddy.

Yo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper.

Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.

Yo mama has one short arm and can't applaud.

Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

Yo mama has so much hair on her chest, her **** look like coconuts.

Yo mama has so much dandruff, a fly landed on her head and said "Damn, I haven't seen this much snow in years."

--Angel

Like mine? IT took 4EVER! Oh well.

Jokes (read more)?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Oh god I have a million of them.

Your momma is so stupid...

...she thought Tu Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

...she thought menopause was a button on the stereo.

...she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

...she brought a bowl and spoon cause I said its chilly outside.

Your momma is so fat...

...She sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.

...she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose.

...before God said "let there be light" he told your momma to get her fat *ss out the way.

Your momma is so old...

...she farts dust.

...she owes Jesus 3 bucks.
your momma so fat that when she goes to the beach she is the only one who gets tan
your mommas so fat, the scale...

-started spinning

-read "we don't weigh livestock"

But i like the first person's answers.lol.
Your mamas so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.

Your mamas has 15 fingers and 11 toes and still can't count to 26.

Your mamas so fat she uses two greyhound buses for roller skates.

Your mamas boobs are so saggy they have rugburns.

Your mamas ain't got no thumbs, no job, is broke, and says she's gonna hitch hike to work to save money.
If nothing is greater than god, why don't we pray to nothing?
Heres one thats not yo mama but still insulting:

I tryed to be you for halloween but i couldent get my face that far up my as.
Hope this fits your request....

Applying mathematics to life:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H A R D W O R K

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,

B U L L $ H I T

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bull$hit will put you over the top.

And look how far a$$ kissing will take you.

A S S K I S S I N G

1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT BEFORE, HUH?