ANY JOKES to use IN SCHOOL?????

Does any1 have any REALLY good jokes that i can say while in school that might not affend any1?

My friends are some what sad right now so i want to try to cheer them up a little by making them laugh, it's just that i cant think of that many GOOD jokes.

ONLY REPLY IF YOU'VE TOLD THE JOKE B-4 AND IT MADE SOME1 LAUGH!!!!!

ANY JOKES to use IN SCHOOL?????-Myspace pictures

This one is pretty good 4 skool

A Cop pulled a car over for speeding.

When the Cop asked the driver why he was traveling 95mph, the driver answered that he was a juggler on his way to do a show for a birthday party and didn't want to be late.

The Cop told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket.

The driver told the Cop that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Cop told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car, and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Cop got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car.

A drunk got out, watched the performance briefly, went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.

The Cop observed him doing this, and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well haul my butt to jail, cause there's NO way I閳ユ獟l pass that test.

or

A man in a taxi cab taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.

After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!"

"Sorry. I didn't realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much," the passenger says.

"It's not your fault," replies the cabbie.

"Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse."

ANY JOKES to use IN SCHOOL?????

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

nope!
why was the tomato blushing?

because it saw the salad dressing!

that one ALWAYS cracks me up

=]
My girlfriend calls me Maxwell House 'cause I'm good to the last drop
I will tell you a secret. Truly sad people do not like jokes.
Are you a spy? You're trying to get Pimpin John suspended again aren't you? Sorry, no jokes fit to print here.
Why can't you hear rabbits have sexx?

Becasue they have cotton balls!

That always makes me laugh! Anything with balls makes me laugh.
well, if someone says, what r u laughing at, just say, your face!!! then if a friend is with you, they will probably laugh. lol!!!
none that are school appropriate sorry. I love the tomato one though
My friend told me this today...

Q:Why were ancient Egyptian children so confused?

A:Because if their daddy died he turned into their mummy.

Sort of stupid...lol. I laughed.
good jokes are like hiking on people mothers at my school, family members
why the tomato suddenly blush?

coz it saw the salad dressing

*************************************

vaccuum: Blow me.

electric fan: Suck me.
Here are my two favorites that are "school appropriate:"

Q. If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?

A. Bagels!! (bay gulls)

Q. What do you call a turtle with no legs?

A. It doesn't matter what you call it - it's not going to come!

Hope this helps.
why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Ans: THERE WEREN'T ANY ROADS BACK THEN!!
I am the class clown so i can get peeps to laugh pretty easily.Walk into class with silly string and spray it all over lockers and teachers desks and bathrooms.Trust me it wont get you in trouble I've done it before.Or You can do sumthin lame to get peeps to laugh AT YOU!
Try this link:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...
Try this:

Walk up to someone and say:

"I just heard the BEST knock-knock joke. You gotta hear it! Ok, so you start it off, OK?"

Then, they say "Knock Knock" and you say (right away) with a serious look on your face "Who's there?"

They, of course have no clue since it was supposed to be YOUR joke. i've caught SO many people with this one!

Enjoy!
A cop pulls over a drunk driver. The drunk driver says, "Ossssifer, you need to get your records straight. You just asked me for my license, but you took it away yesterday!"

There's a tray of muffin tins in an oven being baked. One muffin turns to another and says, "Man, it's really getting hot in here." se second muffin responds, "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
Who's there?

Cargo

Cargo who?

Car go beep! beep!

HAHA. this one gets me and everyone EVERY time.

but you half to say it while you're already laughing so it makes it funnier.
okay an old couple goes to the doctor because they can't seem to remember anything. They're so forgetful and together its a bad combo. The doctor suggests they write things down to help. Later that night, they get home and the wife asks her hubby to get her some ice cream with bananas. He asks "should you write that down?" "no, its only in the kitchen, I'm sure you'll remember."

A few minutes later the man comes out with bacon and eggs. The wife looks at him confused and asks...

"wheres the toast??"

lol, gets me every time!!!

oh! Another one!

Two flies were on a piece of poo eating. One of them farts. The other fly looks at him and says "dude thats sick."
these aren't the most appropriate jokes, but if you say them without the teacher hearing, then you'll surely cheer them up:

A teacher asks her class one day to say a word and then a sentence using that word correctly. So little Johnny raises his hand and said "urinate". The teacher is shocked by let him keep going. So little Johnny said "My dad says urinate, but if you had bigger boobs, you'd be a ten."

Q: Why did the snowman drop his pants?

A: Because he'd seen the snow-blower coming

A brunette, a blonde, and the blondes boyfriend are all in an elevator together. The brunette notices some white dandruff on the blonde's boyfriend shirt. When they get out of the elevator the brunette says to the blonde, "you should give your man some Head %26amp; Shoulders." the blonde replies "how do you give shoulders??"

hope you like :]
this girl went to watch football this other guy told her the postions guard tackle center runningback tailback quarterback...."did you say quarterback" she said "yes" he said "then where is my quarter then" she said "........ its a position dummy" he said