Pregnancy jokes...?

does anyone know any good pregnancy jokes? im hearing some from my dad and brother (they pick on me alot). i had a dr appt yestreday and the dr told me i needed to gain some weight and increase my protein intake. i told my dad that this morning, (he knows alot about nurtion, so i thought he could give me some good ideas on it), but when i said i need to increase my protein intake he said "isn't that what got you in trouble in the first place?" !! i couldn't believe he said that. we all started laughing. but now i need some jokes to get back at him!!!

help me out here!! what are some good pregnancy jokes

Pregnancy jokes...?-Myspace pictures

What 2 things in the air will get a woman pregnant?

her legs.

that's all i've got

Pregnancy jokes...?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

this site has plenty!

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_386.htm
You'll get better awnsers if you ask this in Jokes and Riddles!

Good Luck!
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. Both said they were very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters ,explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.At this point they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home they found the UPS man dead on the porch.
I dont know n e pregnancy jokes... sorry
why would you make a joke about yourself towards him??

why not make a joke abotu him?? makes more sense
so ur dad is pregnant? i dont get why u need a pregnancy joke
Your dad sounds like a real funny person. There are alot of websites out there with jokes I hope you can find a good one for him. that was funny
I stopped to help a lady who was in the ditch. So I hooked up the chain to her car, and told her " you are the third pregnant lady I have helped out of the ditch this week" she replied "I'm not pregnant". So I said " well you aren't out of the ditch yet either"!
Eww I'd hate my dad to get that personal!

I don't know any jokes really I'm rubbish, but this one amused me:

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN

confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

______________________________________...

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,

breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month

______________________________________...

The Baby clothes:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour co-ordinate them, and

fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard

only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

______________________________________...

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up

the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your

firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical

swing

______________________________________...

Dummies:

1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can

go home and wash and sterilise it.

2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some

juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

______________________________________...

Nappy changing:

1st baby: You change your baby's nappies every hour, whether they need

it or not.

2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain

about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

______________________________________...

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby

Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

______________________________________...

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call

home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a

number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees

blood.

______________________________________...

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older

child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

______________________________________...

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the

hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for

the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his

allowance!

______________________________________...

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or everyone

who KNOWS someone who has had children . .

(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live!
...
the best one i have heard...

a lady was giving birth to a baby. when the baby came out the doctor through the baby into a wall, kicked the baby around like a soccer ball and punched it a couple of times. the lady was screaming no,no, thats my baby, stop hurting it. the doctor looked at the lady laughed and said ,"april fools the kid was already dead."