Need jokes and knock knock joke?

Any (clean) knock knock jokes or easy jokes would be appreciated. I need them for my kids. Thanks!

Need jokes and knock knock joke?-Myspace pictures

here's a couple classic ones:

Knock knock

who's there

banana

banana who?

Knock knock

who's there

banana

banana who?

Knock knock

who's there

banana

banana who?

Knock knock

who's there

orange

orange who?

orange you glad i didn't say banana

to me, that one never gets old

knock knock

who's there

water

water who?

water you waiting for? come on in

knock knock

who's there

borus

borus who?

go ahead, borus with another knock knock joke.

knock knock

who's there

justin

justin who

justin in the neighbor hood. though i'd drop by.

knock knock

who's there

patsture

pasture who

pasture bed time, isn't it?

knock knock

who's there

nadia

nadia who?

nadia your head if you understand what i'm saying

(Halloween)

knock knock

who's there

i won

i won who?

i won to suck your blood!

I made this one up. It might be kinda stupid, though:

knock knock

who's there?

gum

gum who?

gummy bears!

That's all i gots.

Need jokes and knock knock joke?

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Knock Knock

Who's there?

Boo!

Boo Who?

It's only a joke! Don't cry!

OR

knock knock

who's there

atch

atch who?

God bless you!
knock knock whos there. me

knock knock whos there mike mike dosent live here
The Catholic Church's air conditioning broke down, so they

had to hire a man to crawl around in the ducts and figure

out what was wrong.

As the man peeked down through one of the vents in the

sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling by the

altar, apparently saying her rosary. Since the man was a

fundamental Baptist, he thought it'd be funny to try and

mess with the lady's mind.

In his best authoritative voice, he said, "This is Jesus.

Your prayers will be answered."

The little old lady didn't even blink, just kept on saying

her prayers. The man decided maybe she didn't hear him, and

tried again. "This is Jesus, the Son of God! Your prayers

will be answered!"

Again, she didn't react at all. Mustering up a big breath

of air, the man decided to try again. "THIS IS JESUS

CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD! YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!"

The lady looks up and says, "SHUT UP! I'M TALKING TO YOUR

MOTHER!"

Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were

approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the

pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until

they stopped at a fast-food restaurant for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager,

"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?

Would you please pronounce where we are . very slowly?"

The manager leaned over the counter and said:

"Burrrrrrr-gerrrrrr Kiiiiiing."

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The

girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, want to play

house?"

He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

"Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no

idea what that means."

The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the

husband then."

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible. "

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went

wrong, they said I was responsible. "

A blonde goes into aDunkin Donuts and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup.

So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!"

The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free Lunch."

But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"

Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize."

The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!"

And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads...

"W I N A B A G E L"

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday.

His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for

me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened

it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

"Arizona Vacation"

On doctor's orders, Johnny had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services.

Johnny's brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. "Would you like to see the body?" the undertaker asked.

"I might as well take a look at it before the others get here." The undertaker led him into the next room and opened the top half of the casket. He stood back and proudly displayed his work.

"He looks good," the brother said. "Those two weeks in Arizona were just the thing for him."

"Airline Ticket"

As an airline reservation agent, I took a call from a

man who wanted to book a flight for two but wasn't

happy with the price of $59 per ticket.

"I want the $49 fare I saw advertised," he insisted,

saying he would accept a flight at any time. I managed

to find two seats on a 6 a.m. flight. "I'll take it,"

he said, then worried his wife might not like the

early hour.

I warned there was a fee of $25 per person if he

changed the reservation.

"Oh, that's no problem," he said dismissively. "What's

fifty bucks?"

"Twelve of the Most Terrifying Things to Hear"

1. The dentist says: "This won't hurt a bit."

2. The IRS announces: "We are simplifying the tax

forms."

3. Your lawyer says: "This is an air-tight case-- you

can't lose."

4. Your stock broker says: "This little drop in the

market is just a minor correction."

5. Your physician says: "You're in great shape--

you'll live to be 100!"

6. Your business partner says: "Nothing can possibly

go wrong."

7. Your best friend says: "Trust me--

I'll never tell a soul."

8. The directions on a do-it-yourself kit say:

"Even a child can do it."

9. Your colleagues say: "We're behind you 100%--

we'll back you up."

10. Someone giving you directions says:

"You can't miss it."

11. The airline pilot announces: "Just a bit of

turbulence folks-- nothing to worry about."

12. A voice on the telephone says: "Congratulations!

You're an instant winner!"

"Fishing on Sunday"

A village pastor, known for his weakness for trout, preached

against fishing on Sunday.

The next day, one of his members presented him with a fine

string of fish and said, hesitatingly, "I guess I ought to tell

you, parson, that those trout were caught on Sunday."

The minister hesitated, gazed appreciatively at the speckled

trout, and then said piously as he reached for his gift, "The

fish aren't to blame for that."

"Cross-eyed Bear"

A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday.

He seemed a little depressed, so his mother asked him if something

happened in Sunday School class that he would like to talk about.

He told his mother, "Well, we were singing songs and the teacher

made us sing about a poor bear named Gladly that needed glasses and I

can't stop thinking about him. She said he was cross-eyed and I feel

bad for him.

The mother couldn't understand why the teacher would teach such

a song in Sunday school, so she decided to call her. To the woman's

amazement, the teacher said she only taught hymns that morning.

Then the teacher began laughing out loud and said to the mother,

"I know what Jeffrey's talking about! We learned the hymn 'Gladly The Cross I'd Bear!'"

"Benefits of Tithing"

Two men off for a sailing trip around the world are shipwrecked. The

minute they got on to the island one of them started screaming and

yelling, "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No

water! We're going to die!"

The second man comfortably propped himself up against a palm tree and

acted so calmly it drove the first man crazy. "Don't you understand?! ?

We're going to die!!"

The second man replied, "You don't understand, I make $100,000 a week."

The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "What

difference does that make?!? We're on an island with no food and no

water! We're going to DIE!!!"

The second man answered with a confident smile, "No, you just don't get

it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a

week. Our church is getting ready to start a building program. My

pastor and the finance committee will find me"
two mushrooms are walking down the road when the one asks the other "why don't we have a lot of friends?" the other one agrees " yeah I mean we are a couple of fungis"
Knock knock

Who's there?

Impatient cow.

Impati...

MOOOO!