Good jokes??

My teacher gave us this stupid project to find jokes and say them infront of the class. theres no point to it but whatever. I'm in 8th grade and was wondering if someone could give me some good jokes that wouldn't be a complete embarresment. My presentation has to be arouund three to five minutes long.. so i need to get a whole bunch of jokes. i'm suppose to say different types of jokes too.. Thanks!

Good jokes??-Myspace pictures

A man goes to buy a horse from a retired preacher turned farmer. The farmer says, "This horse is special, when you want her to go you say, "Praise the Lord!" and when you want her to stop you say, "Amen!" So the man takes the horse out for a ride to see what it can do. He says, "Praise the Lord" and the horse gets going with every time he says it the horse gets faster and faster. The man being too impressed by the horse doesn't notice he's headed straight for the edge of a cliff. When the man sees it ahead, he panics and tries to remember what the farmer said to get the horse to stop. He finally remembers and shouts "AMEN!" The horse stops inches away from the edge. With a sigh of relief the man says, "Praise the Lord!"

Good jokes??

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?

He was stapled to a chicken.
Look through some old copies of Reader's Digest, or go to their web site.
what time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?.....time to get a new fence
haha we had to do this in english but wat ever u do don't say the this 1 : why didn't the skellton dance at the disco?

beacuse he had no body to dance wif

that destroyed my tork lol.... gd luck!
try this website. its got a lot of jokes, for teens that they will understand.

http://www.jokesforkids.net/ShowCategory...

hope this helps
hmm lets see? well i have a couple

what gets wetter and wetter all the time? (dries too)

towel.

(this one is for smart people)

If there are 10 horses with twentyfore legs how is it possible?

Well it is possible because if you know all the words meaning

then you will get it well since there are 10 horses with 20 front legs (people think you are saying 24 legs but you r not you r actually saying 20 fore legs get it hahah?

what is black then red then white?

charcoal duh.....

There was one dad and one baby they were tiny people and were about to cross the road but too many cars so they decided to run around the road so they can cross it which they did and the baby said "we all three are saved"

omg how??? there was only 2 people.

People you r dumb the baby doesnt know how to count lol.

Well i hope you can use these jokes if you did please mark me a 10 so i can appreciate you
Why did the rabbit cross the road???

Because the chicken retired and moved to Florida.

How did the blonde burn her nose?

Bobbing for french fries at McDonald's.
Q:what do you call a mountain with hiccups?

A:A volcano

Q:What do fireman put in their soup?

A:Firecrackers

knock-knock

who's there?

Doris. Doris who?

Doris locked that's why i'm knocking!!!!

Q:Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?

A:it has four A's and one B

Q:What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?

A:"put it on my bill"

Q:What has 5 eyes,is blind,goes for miles,yet bumps into nothing?

A:The Mississippi River

Q:What is a parrot's favorite game?

A:Hide and Speak!!

Q:What nail's do carpenters hit?

A:Fingernails!

i hope these help you out add me as a contact if you need anymore help
1.) What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who lies awake all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

2.) If you want to have fun some time, go into a restaurant's kitchen and yell, "Immigration!"
how do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you later.