Any christmas jokes! please tell?

I needed for my school. Any jokes that have to do with Christmas is fine by me. But it can not be dirty jokes or blonde jokes or other jokes that might hurt others.

well... maybe blonde jokes, but I have to hear it first.

Any christmas jokes! please tell?-Myspace pictures

1. What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas? sandy claws

2.Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

He had low elf esteem

3. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? claustrophobic

4. What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet

5. What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The christmas alphabet has no L (noel)

6. What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?

Silent Night

7. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

So he can hoe hoe hoe.

8. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes

9. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

10. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?

I'll have a boo christmas without you.

Any christmas jokes! please tell?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

.....and thats what happends when you cut off dirty ones....
Why does Santa have three gardens?
OK no mean jokes, but funny ones! LOL! Every time I put a , comma,,,,, Say Ketchup and Liquor. OK?What do you put on your pizza? ,,,,,,, ketchup and liquor. What do you do when you see a girl walking across the street?,,,,,,,, Catch up and lick her! (ketchup and liquor!
soy milk. HA!
well, these arent christmas jokes, but i think they're funny.

1. Eric forgot to get his wife a wedding/anniversary present. the wife was really mad and said that she better have something in the driveway tomorrow morning that goes from 0-140 in less than 6 seconds. so the next morning eric wakes up early and gets something and wraps it and puts it in the driveway. sure enough, when his wife woke up, she took the present and unwrapped it. it was a brand new scale!

2. what did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

DAM!

3. why did the tomato blush?

it saw the salad dressing.

4. what did the seed say when it grew up?

geometry = gee, i'm a tree.

5. what kind of cheese can you not eat?

nachos

6. whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

you can roast beef but you cant pee soup.

7. a panda walks into a bar and tells the bartender he wants beer and bamboo. the bartender serves him and when the panda's done eating, he pulls out a gun and shoots teh bartender. the owner says to the panda, where are you going, you just shot my bartender and you didnt even pay and youre leaving! the panda says, hey, im a panda, look it up. the owner was confused and looked it up in a dictionary. it said a mammal originated from asia. distinct characters are black and white. it eats bamboo shoots and leaves.

8. a patient is at a doctor appointment. the doctor says to him, i have bad news, and really bad news. the patient says i'll take the really bad news first. so the doctor says, you have cancer. the patient says okay, whats the bad news? the doctor says, you're coming down with alzcheimers disease. the patient says, Wow, thanks Doc! i thought you were gonna tell me i have cancer!
Who says OH OH OH?

Santa walking BACKWARDS!

HAHAHA. =]
Imagine if Mrs. Claus was blonde. Now, Santa needed help with the budget so he called up her wife. He told her to compute all the expenses and left. Santa Claus came back just to see a pile of computers. He asked his wife why. Mrs. Claus answered "Well you wanted me to compute right? I bought these computers to do the job for me but it doesn't work!"